Spelling Love in Small Hours

Too Many Letters
by Ryan Hardgrove

When I get up to piss
and brush my teeth
like she told me to, hours and pages ago
my reading light
which my body was shielding her from
spills onto her sleeping face
and the sadness of her beauty
rips down into me

she only wanted me

still wants me

and now there is another
somewhere inside, beneath all of that beauty

somewhere I cannot see
though it rests shallow
not deep
like the soul or the heart

for now it’s just flesh
but soon it will be more
more and more and more

it will grow
beyond any understanding
I now have
standing barefoot
in the bathroom
at 3:30 am
dribbling piss onto the toilet seat

and she wants me
and I want her
and us

so why am I awake
in the small hours of morn
trying to spell love
with too many letters


Ryan Hardgrove is currently wading through his late twenties as a feckless bartender and responsible father. He is also a writer and a musician. He lives in Pittsburgh, PA with his common law wife and their son.


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I am a dreamer, as well as a doer, who lives in the North Georgia mountains. I started my publishing journey August of 2013, have had moderate success, but my utmost passion is my "daytime" job, which is working with adults who are constantly striving to better their lives as they obtain the GED credential.

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