The Year I Forgot How Old I Was by Jen Donnell

I’d lied about my age one too many times,
stopped adding or subtracted a year
without realizing it. My grandmother
died and the tears bled into my brain cells.
Chris said he’d never talk to me again
and followed through.
He became a ghost. I was haunted.
The only cure was recklessness,
I theorized,
as Derrick slapped my behind,
when I climbed up the steps of his boat.
We drank so much tequila that the boat
almost capsized and he left for Europe,
without writing to say goodbye.
I imagined him sleeping with girls
in France and Germany,
but I’m sure there were girls in Italy and the UK.
I wrote Chris a play-by-play,
listing everywhere Derrick’s hands had been,
as if he might understand what I’d done, on my behalf.
Chris had been my god, the emperor of my vagina,
the king of Pussy Town, so I thought
I was one year younger than I really was.
My birthday cake had too few candles,
I didn’t want to grow up.

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Published by

Jeremiah Walton

Oi ! I’m Jeremiah Walton. For the past ~3 years I’ve been bopping around the U.S. between hitchhiking + rubber tramping, running traveling bookstore Books & Shovels + indie publisher Nostrovia! Press. My focus is in-person distribution at open mics + features + busking. Word of mouth is a fulfilling & feels to be a more intimate promotional process. I’ve featured at the NYC Poetry Festival + San Francisco Lit Crawl + Snoetry Cleveland + Beast Crawl Oakland + This Lil Lit Fest + street corners across the country. There’s a handful of my books floating around the country, but most recently is “From Here Til Utopia” (Ghost City Press). Raccoons + coyotes are my companions. Hope you dig the poems, much love, thank you❤

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